Overall, when you think about the big picture of your writing, what improved? How did it get better? Why?
In the early drafts of my article, I neglected to mention the actual point of the story until one of the last paragraphs. I had thought that I was building up to a climatic ending, but I had done it terribly and the paper really had no meaning. It was really difficult for me to decide how to rewrite a powerful introduction. I wanted it to catch the reader's attention, yet leave enough hidden information to discuss throughout the rest of the article. After many critiques and revised drafts, I had a rewritten introduction. I cut out a lot of paragraphs from my first draft that proved to be unnessecary. I focused and expanded on the important parts and finished with a much stronger and more meaninful article.
Overall, when you think about the big picture of your writing, what still needs work? What do you think will help you improve? Why?
I'm generally happy with my completed article. Comparing my first and final drafts show me how much I improved and how dedicated I was to creating a good piece of writing. I feel like I still could have improved on clarity throughout the article and ending strongly. Reading it again, I noticed areas that probably could have been rewritten so that the sentences were simple and easy to understand. Line-by-line editing would solve this. I would also have a few different people read over it so that it wasn't being critiqued by eyes that have already seen it before.
In the early drafts of my article, I neglected to mention the actual point of the story until one of the last paragraphs. I had thought that I was building up to a climatic ending, but I had done it terribly and the paper really had no meaning. It was really difficult for me to decide how to rewrite a powerful introduction. I wanted it to catch the reader's attention, yet leave enough hidden information to discuss throughout the rest of the article. After many critiques and revised drafts, I had a rewritten introduction. I cut out a lot of paragraphs from my first draft that proved to be unnessecary. I focused and expanded on the important parts and finished with a much stronger and more meaninful article.
Overall, when you think about the big picture of your writing, what still needs work? What do you think will help you improve? Why?
I'm generally happy with my completed article. Comparing my first and final drafts show me how much I improved and how dedicated I was to creating a good piece of writing. I feel like I still could have improved on clarity throughout the article and ending strongly. Reading it again, I noticed areas that probably could have been rewritten so that the sentences were simple and easy to understand. Line-by-line editing would solve this. I would also have a few different people read over it so that it wasn't being critiqued by eyes that have already seen it before.
Specifically, show us something that improved and describe the path it took to get better. You can quote your article, your drafts, link to evidence, etc.
My writing improved when I zoned in on particular details and wrote specifically and personally. I learned to to take a general statement and rewrite it to make it more specific. Through the process of writing this article, I learned that each paragraph can become stronger if specific sentences bring some sort of detail that the reader can relate to. I know that if I look at a sentence and think of the ways I can bring detail to it, it strengthens my writing. It's easier for me to get all of my thoughts down on paper in the first draft and, later on, go through each paragraph and find ways to add details. For example, in the early drafts of my article, I had a boring paragraph explaining the well-known fact that companies are struggling and closing down--"Unfortunately, today's working Americans know the story of unemployment far too well. Companies are finding it harder to stay profitable and are being left with no choice but to regretfully downsize or even close down." After realizing how general and boring this statement was, I incorporated sentences that would make sense to the reader and my general audience and make it much more personal and easy to relate to--"...I began to better understand recession because I was witnessing it firsthand. I started noticing the local effects of recession everyday. Stores are closing and boarding up their windows. New stores are replacing others to suit the needs of consumers--See's Candy at Fashion Valley Mall recently reopened as a Cash4Gold store. Starbucks, undoubtedly one of the most famous corporations in America, closed over 600 stores in 2008." The paragraph continued with more specific examples that readers will relate to much more than the original.
My writing improved when I zoned in on particular details and wrote specifically and personally. I learned to to take a general statement and rewrite it to make it more specific. Through the process of writing this article, I learned that each paragraph can become stronger if specific sentences bring some sort of detail that the reader can relate to. I know that if I look at a sentence and think of the ways I can bring detail to it, it strengthens my writing. It's easier for me to get all of my thoughts down on paper in the first draft and, later on, go through each paragraph and find ways to add details. For example, in the early drafts of my article, I had a boring paragraph explaining the well-known fact that companies are struggling and closing down--"Unfortunately, today's working Americans know the story of unemployment far too well. Companies are finding it harder to stay profitable and are being left with no choice but to regretfully downsize or even close down." After realizing how general and boring this statement was, I incorporated sentences that would make sense to the reader and my general audience and make it much more personal and easy to relate to--"...I began to better understand recession because I was witnessing it firsthand. I started noticing the local effects of recession everyday. Stores are closing and boarding up their windows. New stores are replacing others to suit the needs of consumers--See's Candy at Fashion Valley Mall recently reopened as a Cash4Gold store. Starbucks, undoubtedly one of the most famous corporations in America, closed over 600 stores in 2008." The paragraph continued with more specific examples that readers will relate to much more than the original.
Describe something specific (or a few things!) that you learned about writing.
I learned that a piece of writing can always be improved. One of the techniques that I enjoyed the most was concerts, not pancakes. It really helped me to consider each sentence individually and make each one powerful on its own. I also liked the loop-writing structure because it's challenging. It is difficult to do, but it makes writing stronger. I hope to continue to practice the loop-structure and use it in other pieces of writing. Keeping these in mind will help me with my writing in the future.
I learned that a piece of writing can always be improved. One of the techniques that I enjoyed the most was concerts, not pancakes. It really helped me to consider each sentence individually and make each one powerful on its own. I also liked the loop-writing structure because it's challenging. It is difficult to do, but it makes writing stronger. I hope to continue to practice the loop-structure and use it in other pieces of writing. Keeping these in mind will help me with my writing in the future.
